#104 #7 It’s not Funny, it’s Serious

by Madelaine Gradinger

“Are you sure?” Jimmy asked again before peering at the lumpy form wedged between the grayish washer and dryer.

“Absolutely! It ran across the kitchen and hissed at me! You had better kill it before I get back from the store.” Martha’s already shrill voice had reached a volume Jimmy hoped he would never hear again.

While Martha’s heels clicked away, Jimmy sighed and thought about how to get rid of the poor creature. “Drowning?” he pondered.

No. Shooting? Too messy. Poison? Perhaps… Maybe he could convince Martha to sit on the little beast. Would kill it instantly, Jimmy snickered to himself.

But the more Jimmy thought about it, the better it sounded. The evil bitch had a hatred of animals that was purely mutual.

“Maybe they really can sense an evil soul,” he muttered as he rummaged for a shoe box.

After two unsuccessful rushes at the critter, Jimmy finally captured the unidentifiable animal.

“Sorry poor fellow, this is just too funny to pass up.” Jimmy murmured to the box.

After gingerly placing the box under the cushion of Martha’s favorite armchair, Jimmy sat down and waited.

The clanking and swearing told of Martha’s arrival, and her beeline to the armchair was no surprise.

In one fatal swoop, Martha’s mountainous buttock was deftly planted in the armchair.

And milliseconds later, with a horrendous shriek, she was up again.

Jimmy just laughed.

“It isn’t Funny!!!” Martha howled.

“It’s seriously hysterical!” Jimmy replied.

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