by Melody Feldman
The day after she came home from the hospital with the bandages tight across her wrists my mother threw the prescription bottle against the wall and the whites scattered everywhere and my sister and I jumped to pick them up but my father ordered us to sit back down that this was our mother’s mess so she was going to clean it up and she threatened to empty the bottle into her belly right there and then he would be sorry.
I took Lissy upstairs and told her to stuff cotton into her ears and hold on tight to Otis her favorite stuffed dog and that her bed was a boat and we gathered all her dolls and stuffed animals to save them from drowning. We used two umbrellas as oars and her Little Mermaid sheets as sails and we paddled for seven days across the ocean to Hawaii and once our feet touched the white sand and the salt air filled our nostrils I knew we were safe.
6 comments:
Lovely. The power of imagination.
Wow! You told a big story in those few words. Well done.
A lot of punch packed into these few words. Well done.
I really like the way your choice of lack of punctuation makes the rush of thoughts and the lack of emotional containment so evident. It adds an important dimension to your story.
Wow this is really great, I love the breathless quality of the writing. I too was swept away with the emotion and imagination of this story. Thank you for sharing this.
I liked the rush of words, apt for a child's POV. Really good.
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