by Tina Culbertson
He wiped his face with his sleeve, smearing dirt and sweat across his sunburnt face. Eric paused, leaning hard against the shovel. He squinted at the sun, feeling it bake him and the plowed-up corn field. The hole was collapsing again.
“Shit!” he swore. Discouraged and thirsty, he flung the shovel down and walked to his truck. It was insufferably hot, even in the shade. He drank from the canteen in long pulls, draining the remaining water into a dirty bandana to wrap around his head. The stench of her body made him gag, drifting in nauseating waves every time the breeze picked up. He had to get the hole deep enough or coyotes would dig her up for sure.
Eric pried his once white shirt off as it clung to his chest like smelly suction cups. Tossing it in the truck cab he looked up to see a cloud of dust blowing along in the distance, signaling a vehicle moving toward the corn field road. It was too far away to discern if it was Jimmy’s truck or a cop.
Heart pounding, he scrambled into the truck bed, tugging on the tarp which partially hid her body. Gagging, Eric scrunched his nose, a fruitless attempt to repel the smell of Amy’s corpse.
“I’m fucked,” he thought. It was too late to push the panic back. Too late to drive off if it were the police. Too late to explain to Jimmy why his sister didn’t come home last Tuesday.
7 comments:
Nice transition from hard work to horror to thriller tension. Good use of descriptors. I felt like I needed a drink of water, too.
Great job, Tina. You captured my attention and held it to the last line.
I like how the title takes on a new meaning by the end.
Wow! Pretty grim. A real chiller.
Thank you all so much for your comments, I appreciate the compliments and suggestions. Always trying to improve!
loved the title, my only hiccup was "smelly suction cups", maybe percolate on this one a bit and see if something else comes to mind.
really enjoyed it!
I like how the title is necessary to the story. Strong plot.
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