by Teresa Stenson
And now it was time.
When her feet lifted she gasped. Still holding her hands, he said she’d be okay.
He had found the sky for her, tilted her head and showed her the stars.
Now, as he let her go she caught the breeze and billowed a little, afraid at first, then laughed.
He cheered, shouted encouraging words; she moved her arms like wings.
As he watched her go he imagined the tingle in her insides, thought of her heart filling, expanding, and leaving no room for him.
16 comments:
Lovely, sweet without being sappy. The last line is perfect. I like stories like this that tease the reader until the very end.
Thanks, Rachel.
This is beautiful.
The last line is indeed perfect.
I loved that billowing made an appearance as well. It's a nice word :)
Well done!
Thank you, Jen. Ha, yes, billowing, it's making a come-back - you heard it here first.
Nice. Speaks of the experience of young discovery
This piece could have easily been over sentimental. But you pitch it just right! The imagery works well and I love the touch of anxiety at the end.
Such a good last line.
Thank you, Val, Shirley and Cath - very pleased you like it.
That last line is proving popular! Glad the imagery works.
Teresa, I liked your story plenty... but what I really loved was your comment here to Jen, that billowing was making a comeback. Absolutely fantastic! Good luck in the contest
Ha, thanks Christopher. Maybe that comment could get a prize... I'll leave it with you.
Subtle and poetic. Love it.
I'm all for a good billowing. Love this one. Beautifully done.
Thank you, Gavin and Karen.
Further support for 'billowing' noted.
There is a lovely light feeling to this piece and then a great last line.
Beautiful writing.
A lovely piece, Teresa.
Signed 'The Billowing (and all its variants) Appreciation Society'
PS I am stil waiting for my bingo pen ;-)
Thank you, Kitty.
And you, McFish, and your offer to set up and maintain and see to all the admin of The Billowing (and all its variants) Appreciation Society has been accepted.
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