#193 A Modest Conversation

by Allan Mott

Tina stared at the painting.

“Why did you buy this?” she asked, squinting at it like it was hurting her eyes.

“Because it’s pretty,” said Joanna.

“Hmm,” Tina pondered this. “I’ve never understood the point of art,” she admitted.

“I know. We have this conversation every time you come here.”

“Do we?”

“Ev-er-y sin-gle time.”

“If you say so. What do think of the product?”

“It looks Asian.”

“Sellers market. We take what we can get. You said they’d accept anything.”

“I know, but you can always see the look of disappointment in their eyes when you don’t hand over a white one. They never say anything because no one wants you to think they’re racist, but that’s usually when they start to haggle over the price.”

“People are fucked up.”

“Word. It’s the worst part of being in a customer service business.”

“How did you even end up dealing to the Swifties?”

“Didn’t study in school.”

“Have you ever been to one of their parties? And … y’know …”

“Sampled the product?”

“Yeah.”

“Once.”

“Does it taste like chicken?”

“No,” Joanna shook her head. “It tastes like exactly what it is.”

“And?”

“It’s an acquired taste.”

Tina turned back towards the painting on the wall. “How much did you pay for this? Or have I asked that before?”

“You have. $5000.”

“I just don’t get the point of art.”

“It reflects the world we live in.”

“Why would anyone want to do that?”



A.S. Mott has been fascinated with scary movies since childhood, and he has devoted himself to watching as many of them as he can find. This book of entertaining analyses and anecdotes represents a culmination of his years spent in dark basements studying both the great and not-so-great examples of the genre. Go behind the scenes and read about why some films are still popular decades after they were first released.

Click on the cover to visit the book's Amazon page.

3 comments:

Hannah said...

Hey! Allan Mott! I lurk on xojane & dig your writing there. I guess that's not really an interesting comment to leave. I guess this is why I usually don't ever comment on anything. Because I'm bad at it. Look, I'm so bad at it that I'm still going, and it's still not getting any better. Yay me. No wait, yay you. Ok. Ok. Interesting comment. Here I go. Maybe. Yes. You wrote a story referencing Jonathan Swift. The first comment on my story references Jonathan Swift (http://www.lascauxflash.com/2013/03/175-vanishing-of-middle-class.html). Shit. Kind of tangental. Um. Your story made me snerk. Thanks!

Eva said...

You're a sick fuck and I hope we never stop being friends.

Stephanie C said...

Sneaks right up on you with the creepy. Nice dialogue, nice work (I'm not even gonna say "for a Canadian"!)