#80 Poseidon’s Pet Products

by Adam Lloyd

I pushed aside the door and eagerly scouted around the pet emporium. My aquarium was beginning to resemble a keynote speech at a sandpaper convention; bland, bare and a little lifeless. It was my hope that I would discover some fabulous piscine delights in this newly established store.

As I fondled a rather fetching blue tang, the owner approached me with his trident drawn. He prodded the middle prong into my side with malicious intent.

“Oi! No touching the merchandise!”

I dropped the fish and turned to face my assailant. I was suitably surprised to be confronted by Poseidon, king of the sea.

“Poseidon? What are you doing here?” Seemed to be the most pertinent question I could ask.

Poseidon sighed and slumped down on a shipping palette. He gazed into the distance and sunk deeper into his own thoughts. Perhaps he was reminiscing about Atlantis, his holiday home.

“Hey Poseidon! Wake up!”

The elderly God snapped out of his funk at my exclamation. “I have no choice. Since people stopped praying to us, the Gods have lost their powers. We’re forced to walk amongst mortals and take up normal lives. Why, the other week I saw Zeus at Carpet Warehouse.”

“Why don’t you go back?”

“I can never go back until people believe in me again!” Snapped the ferocious demi-god as he turned his back to me in anger.

“But . . . I believe in you.”

And that, my friends, is how I got 20% off my new aquarium. Result!