#54 Weird is Normal

by Matthew Gridley

“Normal is Weird,” I read from a Flying Monkey breweries pint glass. The logo, that obstructed a part of the beer, like a censor’s mark on a sensitive government document, instantly reminded me of the time I dropped my cell phone. It fell out of my pocket, glanced off a sink, and ricocheted into the toilet. Yup. My cell phone was cracked and toilet water wet.

Was it weird for my neighbor to be screaming into the phone about gravy?

“Listen bro, I asked for extra gravy!”
“…”
“Bro. You didn’t give me gravy!”
“…”
“Listen to me bro, I walked twenty minutes for this chicken!”
“…”
“I’ll fucking come down there, bro! I seriously will! I’ll come down there! Who’s your superior?!”
“…”
“I am not threatening you! I’m fucking recording this bro! I’m fucking recording it! On my phone, bro! Bro, I’ll play this for your superior!”

This one was weird.

My marriage ended during its seventh year. When I moved into my own apartment and set things up, I turned on my TV and PlayStation and started browsing through my Netflix suggestions. I desperately needed to be distracted. Boldly, the TV suggested I watch The Seven Year Itch. I have never watched the movie. I suppose watching it makes me think about what I would see if I were smashed in the forehead with a previously used light brown brick. I think I would see things a little like the decal on the Flying Monkey pint glass.

7 comments:

Sam Knight said...

This actually made me feel a little psychotic (not that I'm not already). I felt like there was thread here, tying all together, that I just couldn't quite grasp, that was just outside my own addled perception of the world. Nice.

Estano said...

I often get criticized for writing in this style. It's good to hear that someone liked it.

Flutterby said...

Nice, casual writing style and funny dialogue. I think the story might be stronger if there were more cohesive tie-in between the three parts.

VeeMer said...

Nice work Matthew. This keeps bringing me back in for more, I feel like I find something new every time I read it. And I like that it's the only story I've read so far (admittedly, I haven't read all of them) that hasn't literally referenced the prompt image, I think it makes for a stronger story.

Avislade said...

Well done!! You have a talent of literally writing exactly what (I think) goes on in that head of yours. That's a talent!

Jade said...

Reading this feels a little like hopping across a river on stones;e ach step turns me toward a different perspective. I think the only part that slows me down is the analogy to a censor's mark on a sensitive government document; it doesn't connect for me (I start daydreaming about stamps and seals) so I stumble a bit, but maybe I just need to read again. I'm especially intrigued by the implications of a "previously used" brick.

Estano said...

Thanks to everyone who left me a compliment and a suggestion. I really appreciate it!