by Michelle Hickman
“Get ‘er along, Smitty. Find that grave.”
Smitty’s nose sniffed along the grass as the old man followed his hound past the large sign with the words, “New Construction.” This seemed to happen every few years. The old man would find a secluded plot to stash the governor’s son. Then some developer would come along to build a hundred townhouses.
A yelp sounded. The old man flashed his torch toward Smitty as the hound sat on his hind legs, licking a front paw. The old man crouched and removed the shard of glass from the dog’s paw.
“You heard the news, Malcolm?”
Smitty gruffed as the old man stood at the sound of his name. The beam from his torch glinted off the sheriff’s badge.
“Can’t remember where you buried him, can you, Malcolm?”
“All I remember is that night wheren that good fer nothin’ son of a bitch took my grandbaby away.”
Sheriff Danford placed one hand on his pistol. “West side of the copse of trees.”
Malcolm nodded. “Hear anything new?”
Sheriff Danford shook his head. “Not one body found out of the thirteen that he killed. The governor wants all manpower turned to finding his missing son.”
“Son’s rotting in hell wheren he belongs. If us families can’t get closure then neither can he.” Malcolm spat on the ground. “Gonna give me a hand?”
“Might as well.” Sheriff Danford strolled forward. “Might get lucky and find one of his buried victims. Might find my daughter Anabel.”
9 comments:
Liked this story a lot. Really appeals to my recessive vigilante gene.
Thanks, Bruce!
I like how you introduce the sniffer dog into your story. Such a sad tale and original use of the theme.
Nice twist. I like the idea everyone is working together to keep it a secret. The only thing that threw me out, and I mean the only thing, was the 'every few years' part. It made the story less plausible for me. Other than that, I really liked it.
Love the slow reveal, little bits fleshing this out until you understand the whole story. Well done.
Madeleine: Thanks!
Sara: I see your point. Thanks for the comment.
Sarah: Thank you. It was a different approach in writing I wanted to try.
Nicely done Michelle; a grim situation, but well-drawn characters, palpable atmosphere, and plenty of room for more story.
Michelle, I have always thought of you as a good writer, but the feel of this seems - I don't know, more polished, fuller, meatier, even, than some of the pieces I remember. I didn't realize you COULD get better, and you did!
Jade: Thanks!
Aerin: I'm blushing. You're compliment means a lot, especially because this is the first fiction piece I have written in a long time. Thank you!
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