#35 The Way the World Ends

by Josh Vogt

“Do yah think if we’d used more glue instead of pins with the corkboards, the world wouldn’t be endin’?”

“The method’s not the issue. It’s the senselessness of why we did it that doomed us.”

“Bah. I say they just figured humans made the easiest targets. We ain’t the only species that’s plucked a few wings. Lizards and frogs and birds should be goin’ extinct right with us, but do yah see them waitin’ to be wiped out by a few hundred hurricanes? Nooo . . .”

“And what do those creatures hunt for? Instinct. Hunger. Survival. We did it for knowledge. For art. For hobby. We did it to keep our children occupied on summer afternoons.”

“But them’s noble pursuits! Yah ever have a kid wailin’ about how bored he is all day? Just give him a net and jar and yer all set.”

“You’re missing the point. What would any of that mean to our executioners? Especially after we’ve spent centuries slaughtering them in gleeful ignorance. We pushed it too far. Now it’s survival of the fittest.”

“Survival of the flappiest, yah mean. And ain’t it just the slightest bit disappointin’?”

“How so?”

“Think of all the ways we coulda gone out. Zombies. Asteroids. Mutants from the center of the earth. Instead, we get stuck with . . . hang on a sec . . .”

“Where are you going? They’ll be unleashing apocalyptic chaos any minute!”

“Gotta find a Bible!”

“Whatever for?”

“To see if Revelations done ever said anythin’ about butterflies.”


Anonymous said...

I am so down with the butterfly apocalypse! Funny and charming, and totally original.

saniya said...

Can't stop being amused by this piece! Wonderful! :)

Guy Anthony De Marco said...

Good twist ending, well done!

Sam Knight said...

This is the way the world ends. I can think of no creature I would be less angry with for destroying us. Yes. We deserved the hurricanes. I will remember this one years from now. I'll be telling my grand-kids someday, "Yup, pretty sure you don't have to worry about nukes. It's the butterflies that'll getcha!"

Anonymous said...

Butterfly Apocalypse, great band name.

"Now opening for Zombie Cows... Butterfly Apocalypse!"

Jade said...

I think I could be satisfied with "fluttered into oblivion."

Anonymous said...

Guess I missed something as it didn't give me an ah-hahs.

msc said...

I think this is absolutely brilliant! The ending is icing on the cake. BRAVO!

Catherine Vibert said...

Oh Josh! This is awesome! I love the idea of a world where butterflies are the enemy. LOL. You have such a great imagination. LOVE IT!