#35 The Way the World Ends

by Josh Vogt

“Do yah think if we’d used more glue instead of pins with the corkboards, the world wouldn’t be endin’?”

“The method’s not the issue. It’s the senselessness of why we did it that doomed us.”

“Bah. I say they just figured humans made the easiest targets. We ain’t the only species that’s plucked a few wings. Lizards and frogs and birds should be goin’ extinct right with us, but do yah see them waitin’ to be wiped out by a few hundred hurricanes? Nooo . . .”

“And what do those creatures hunt for? Instinct. Hunger. Survival. We did it for knowledge. For art. For hobby. We did it to keep our children occupied on summer afternoons.”

“But them’s noble pursuits! Yah ever have a kid wailin’ about how bored he is all day? Just give him a net and jar and yer all set.”

“You’re missing the point. What would any of that mean to our executioners? Especially after we’ve spent centuries slaughtering them in gleeful ignorance. We pushed it too far. Now it’s survival of the fittest.”

“Survival of the flappiest, yah mean. And ain’t it just the slightest bit disappointin’?”

“How so?”

“Think of all the ways we coulda gone out. Zombies. Asteroids. Mutants from the center of the earth. Instead, we get stuck with . . . hang on a sec . . .”

“Where are you going? They’ll be unleashing apocalyptic chaos any minute!”

“Gotta find a Bible!”

“Whatever for?”

“To see if Revelations done ever said anythin’ about butterflies.”