by Madeleine Sara
Joe’s words left a kaleidoscope of emotions swirling around Emily’s sensibilities. The pain could not have been any more excruciating than if he had smashed her body through the car windscreen at speed. She swallowed as though her neck was made of tightly corded rope and her breathing quickened. Normally she was a good driver, but Joe’s words were creating their own road map through her mind, like the voice of an irascible SatNav that could not be silenced. Her foot pressed harder on the gas pedal, making the houses and mail boxes hurry past like bewildered onlookers. She just wanted him out of her life.
Anger raged in red hues like a rutting stag, while jealously slinked its way around her body; slithering green like a snake through smoky blue clouds that fogged her mind with depressive thoughts of suicide and despair. He had uttered that oh-so clichéd line “I don’t love you anymore. I’ve found somebody else” from those once beloved soft, pink lips that seven years ago had promised “I love you, ‘til death us do part.”
“You can drop me off at the corner” Joe said, breaking into her thoughts, as he unfastened his seat belt in preparation. He leant over the seat to grab his bag. Her foot automatically leapt on the brake pedal as the ginger tabby ran out into the road in front of her. Joe’s yellow skin was the colour that stayed in her mind; from damage to his liver, they said.
16 comments:
That tabby had nine lives, but I'm guessing Joe didn't!
I can see how the picture prompt sparked the kaleidescope of colours and emotions to spring to mind. Nice piece.
Oh gosh!! Poor Joe!! Pure rage is never good!! Never ever! Take care
x
Ginger tabby indeed!
Very colorful! Good job.
I enjoyed this piece. I thought the use of breaking and brake was very effective.
I enjoyed reading this very much. I loved the use of colour and the way the emotion built up to the shocking end. It was a very vivid piece.
Hi Joanna, Debbie, Susan, Old Kitty, Susanne, Flutterby & Starting Over, thanks for stopping by and commenting on my piece.
That yellow skin part really sticks in your mind, after reading. Nice!
Hi Maddy! That got rid of Joe alright!
You've made great use of the prompt. I like the way you've taken the time to write descriptively - the mailboxes flashing past etc. Your use of colour is great. I wish you well.
This is packed with emotions as well as colors. Great piece.
great piece.
at first i thought the first paragraph was too packed, with so mush telling and less of a showing, but then the use of colors and movements made up for it.
great job.
Lydia, Denise and Medeia- thanks for your lovely comments.
SzélsőFa, I'm pleased I won you over, with my descriptive showing similies and metaphors, in the end ;O)
A very emotionally powerful piece. I could feel her anger and the tumult of the moment.
Wow. Lots of rage on the page. Poor Joe. Guess he had it coming. :-)
Excellent descriptive writing. I saw the contest and came up blank. You did an awesome job with it. I have an ex husband who told me after I left him, 'I never loved you, but I do now.' Yeah, that's going to get me back. Loved your flash!
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