#136 Daddy's Little Girl

by Sarah Laurenson

The sink is cold against my palm. I grip it tighter and open my eyes. Hard to see by the red night light. The paper is dark. Almost all the way to the edge. I chuck it in the toilet and wipe again. Still dark. His words haunt me.

"Your pa thinks he's so great. He ain’t nothing. You hear me. Nothing."

I shudder and kneel on the cold floor. Wrap my arms around me and squeeze. Mustn't cry. Crying is weakness. Weakness is death. Squeeze harder until the moment passes.

"You tell your pa. You tell him what a slut his little girl is. That'll fix him but good."

I don't know what a slut is. It sounds bad. I wet more paper and wipe again. The dark spot is smaller. I think.

"He's got money now, but I've got you. Anytime I want. I've got you."

Wet more paper. Erase the dark line running down the inside of my leg.

"You. Are. Mine. Now. And. Always."

The crack in the mirror draws a slash across my mouth. Zips it shut. I pick up my white underpants; ball them in my fist; put them back on the sink. I can't wear them until the bleeding stops. Wet more paper. Wipe again. And again. And again. No one will ever know.

14 comments:

SzélsőFa said...

aw, reading beneath the words hurts. well crafted.

Cheryl Manning said...

Powerfully written. Gut-wrenching. Loved it.

fairyhedgehog said...

Oh wow! Strong stuff!

Gita Smith said...

Whose is the voice in her head? I understand the strong mood of fear, confusion, pain but am not clear about her situation. Is it a kidnapper? Obviously someone who knows the family... very very creepy!

Amara Royce said...

Devastating. Well done, but so painful to read.

Aerin said...

The anguish of this very young girl suffocates me to read.

SARAH. I had no IDEA you could be this dark! You seem so...so....Californian.

Sarah Laurenson said...

Thanks, guys! I appreciate your feedback and support.

Gita - she's been raped.

Aerin - I'm a transplant via NJ and LA.

Sarah Hina said...

Nightmarish.

Sarah, you captured well the schism between her automatic actions of self-preservation and the horror inside her head. Vividly portrayed and haunting.

C Sonberg Larson said...

Dark, gripping, haunting. Well done, Sarah.

stacy said...

Very haunting and sad. Well done, Sarah.

Richard Simpson said...

Veryy good Sarah. Well written.

stacy said...

Congratulations on being a finalist, Sarah!

Sarah Laurenson said...

Thanks everyone. I really appreciate the feedback!

Catvibe said...

Oh this chilled me to the bone Sarah. I don't even know how to speak of the horror. So well written. I"m speechless...did I say that already. The horror...