#119 In Reality

by Sofia Ama

She sits on top of the world in a daze. She sees what the universe may not want you to see, for the universe is selfish. She sits, the wind dancing with her golden hair. She is forever dreaming of faraway lands and mysterious encounters with the world of make believe, her life is inhabited in a parallel world, one that cannot be even dared to be imagined by the dwellers of this earth, by the decaying population of just people, she is alone in every sense of the word but she never feels lonely besides she has her pen and her book to keep her company she is nourished by the fruits her mind produces. Brianny (that's her name) is a habitual dreamer; floating through life, dazed. She collects her thoughts tumbles back to the harsh reality of her world and gets up off the park bench to leave. She looks one more time at the artificial serenity of the park in the middle of the concrete jungle, awash with robotic people rushing to get to a a job they hate. Brianny feels a deep sense of hopelessness at this thought, but she picks up her bag and joins the sea of robots and telling herself of stories of an Arabian twilight that she will one day see or the sun rise on an oriental bay she vows to witness but for now she will have to stay just a component in the conveyor belt of city life. Trapped.


SzélsőFa said...

although it was not a requirement from the contestants, i like how the photo resonates with your writing.
i liked it.

Flutterby said...

You have really captured the desperate feeling of the narrator.

I would have liked to see some paragraph breaks and additional pauses in the text to slow the pacing down just a tiny bit. Also, almost every sentence begins with "she" so it would be nice to break up the rhythm of your sentence structure as well. Those are just very small things that might make a big improvement.